I had someone once tell me that it was my duty to “ better the lineage “ by marrying someone of fair skin, of high status, and of course, goes without saying - someone of the opposite sex. 

I know — I’ll save the healing of THAT narrative for another day. 

And like anything else in life - with discernment, I take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

I went through high school kissing boys, having boyfriends and on the " DL " kissing girls and having girlfriends, I kept those a secret. 

At the time, I declared “ I will never come out ”. I didn’t think I would have to, I would marry a guy and I never have to worry about it ever again. 

If you come from a traditional family, then, you know the drill. 

You're set for a beautiful heterosexual marriage and create a beautiful family and home. 

Time passed by, I got married to my high school sweetheart, got a divorce, and later rose in the greatest most liberating love, with my now partner Lotus Sky aka Christine Angela Espiriu. She was the answer to my prayers, a love that I couldn't have even imagined.

A love I simply couldn’t hide. 

I knew that as a humxn who stands for personal empowerment and liberation, this was something I had to share with the world. 

And so step by step, I did. 

I became the first in my family to ever come out. 

Released the fear of " what if they don't like me anymore, stop talking to me, what if my clients no longer want to work with me, what if this, that..I took a breath and chose to give myself a chance. 

I first shared with my friends, they celebrated me, and even shared words like “ I love you even more now that I get to see all of you” 

I shared with my mother, in tears she shared her love and “ All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and free”  

I shared with my brothers and the rest of my family and they declared their love and stood by my side. 

(with the exception of some who suggested I kept this to my self)  

I left my father for last, this was the BIG one - to let the main man of my life know once again I’d be breaking free from any box he expected me to be in. 

I released any expectations of support, acceptance and understanding. 

All of that I already had within myself. He deserved to know. I decided to share with him from a space of love and saying " I am sharing this with you because to set myself free and not hide any aspects of my life from you “. especially one of the most special. 

“ Dad, I am dating a womxn “ 

There was silence for about 2 minutes. 

He answered “ No, this can't be ” 

We then continued to talk and at the end of the conversation we came to the agreement that it would take time for him to adjust, 

I understood.

So now, here I stand - “bettering the lineage" by paving the path for any rainbow child to come after me to be free in love, in expression, in their truth. 

Paving the path with a story of love and libration. 

A message that declares we are here to be empowered in sharing our colors, loudly, proudly. 

This liberating love, with my life partner, who's technically fair skin and of high status aka reverent, loving, living a life of service and has such a deep connection to the earth and spirit. 

I see that I paved my own path too. 

See what I mean, take what resonates - leave what doesn’t. 

Paola, your unique essence gets to be expressed. 

Even if you are not Queer, I want to encourage you to share your colors - to share any parts of yourself that you feel are not good enough, or worthy, that you may be keeping hidden. 

What do you get to come out about? 

Here, you'll always be met with love. 

I am already celebrating you. 

Celebrating US! 

With all my love, 

Paola Ucelo